to: 16 year old niece. love: your spinster aunt.


My best friend in the world turned 6 over the weekend.  When you watch a small human grow up before your eyes, it makes you think a lot.  It also makes you panic about time and life and how fast it passes you by.  As I reflected on this, I came up with a short list of advice that I want to give Brooklyn when she turns 16.  Because clearly I’ve figured it all out and have my shit together.

1.   Don’t wear too much eyeliner.  You’ll never get those years back.

2.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, it’s always ok to take warm laundry out of the dryer and lay in them until they become room temperature.  And sometimes, take it to another level by jumping out and scaring someone.

3.   Your complexion probably won’t ever get tan.  Just put the SPF on and shut up.

4.  Sometimes life is hard and people disappoint you.  Love them anyway.  But unfollow them on Twitter.

5.  Find something you like and learn everything you can about it.  Unless this something is girl’s basketball or porn.

6.  Dance like a big dork at weddings.

7.  You’re going to want to get that tattoo of a dragon fly or four-leaf clover when you’re 18.  Don’t.  Wait until you’re 25.  At this point you can even get your boyfriend’s face on your shoulder blade if you want.  Just wait until you’re 25.

8.  You always have enough.  Be grateful.  And buy Ramen noodles in bulk.

9.  It doesn’t matter if you flexed your abs in the weight room and farted in front of that guy you like.  Embarrassing moments will follow you because you’re my niece.  You’ll live to tell the story later.

10.  Trust people first.  Unless they’re a boy wearing white sunglasses, a white belt, or white flip-flops.  Then maybe make them work for it a little.

11.  There is a limit to how much you can like cats and Anime.  Please practice moderation.

12.  It’s more important to be kind than it is to be right.  Sometimes this just means pretending you’re wrong.  But no matter what they tell you – you’re always right about ketchup on macaroni and cheese being delicious.

13.  You don’t have to get married before you’re 25.  Even if it’s 28 year old you and 3 pre-teens trying to catch the bouquet at a wedding.  Your life is fun.

14.  Coffee is good and sunrises are worth it.

15.  There is nothing in the world that Jesus and red lipstick can’t fix.

Kisses and thugs,

Auntie Cobes

2 thoughts on “to: 16 year old niece. love: your spinster aunt.

  1. I laugh out loud at your posts and enjoy them so much. You make me smile friend. I just m miss you and love who you are. 😉

  2. Pingback: to: 16 year old niece. love: your spinster aunt. (part ii) | i spy something rad

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